Sunday, February 16, 2014

Through the Storm.

Through the storm, he is Lord.

That was the last line of the last worship song during church this morning and it has been replaying in my head all day.  Today was one of those Sundays where the message was for me. I love those days.

Through the storm, he is Lord. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my journey through infertility (ugh, I still hate saying that word) over the last two years. It was up for all of one evening and then I took it down.  It was really personal, and I thought that by pouring my heart out I would find comfort.  And, I did.  Just writing it down was a weight lifted from my shoulders.  I have read many other similar posts about infertility, and I absolutely adore those women for putting every last ounce of their heart on their blogs.  But, I guess for me, it just felt too personal to have out there for the long term.  It did open me up to beginning to share about this journey, though, and I think this is a good step for me.

Through the storm, he is Lord.  This is something I have been really trying to live.  It's easy during trials like this to get mad, get sad, and get helpless.  But when you remember that God has a plan that is bigger and better than anything you can imagine, the mad, sad, and helpless feelings begin to ease a bit.  There is a reason for this trial, and I will know that reason one day.  God is faithful.

Through the storm, he is Lord.  Our pastor also talked a lot about what it is that we, as people, do to "self-medicate".  What is it that we do to not have to deal with the emotion, anxiety, and stress that is in our lives.  For some, it is getting lost in social media or work.  For others, it could be something more serious, like gambling or alcohol.  Regardless, it is something that you are filling your empty time with, in order to escape dealing with what happens when your mind "settles".  And in the long run, regardless of if it seems "harmless" or not, it is serving the same purpose.  It might sound silly, but, for example, given the state of our smart phone technology, it is so easy to get lost in the world of Facebook updates and Pinterest pins  24/7 (umm, I may or may not have over 4,000 pins.. what am I doing with my life?!) ..but by the time you finally look up, you have wasted so.much.time. and so much of what you have to offer the world. When you think about it, it is absolutely ridiculous.

It is time wasted. It is time that could should be spent discovering God's plan for your life.  If we "put down" the vice and step through the fear and anxiety, we are stepping into God's plan for us, and that is a gift!  After reading another blogger's post about deleting facebook and twitter from your iPhone, I decided to do it too.  That was about a week ago and I swear I have a clearer mind and calmer spirit because of it. You should try it! :)

Today I am dedicating myself to making more time to discover and live God's plan for my life.  In the downtime, instead of escaping into the many distractions that can "self-medicate", I am going to pursue the greatness that is God and his plan.  Through the storm, he is Lord, and I want to thank him for that. What better way to do it than to truly embrace his plan and be present in the moments that make up the life that he has given us.

1 comment:

AEOT said...

Emily, I am sorry you are struggling with this. I think it must be one of the hardest things to go through as an adult woman. I will pray for help with your journey and am proud of you for stepping out of your phone box (which many of us are in!!) and facing your fears with God instead of blaming him for them. I hope you are able to find the support you need from your family, friends, husband and doctors, and I pray you will have an answer soon to all that you need.